Kyle and I welcomed this precious child into the world. Any mother can attest to this fact – it is amazing how quickly they grow.

She was born just before 11 p.m. on a Thursday night. I had been in labor for almost 24 hours and had a difficult delivery (so happy the epidural decided to fail!) and it was almost an hour before I held and examined Sophie. I wanted to be free of the doctor doing what he was doing and the nurses buzzing around. When I looked into her eyes, I knew.

I knew I couldn’t fail her.

I knew I adored her. Loved her.

I knew I was finally – finally – a mother.

I was taken to my room, followed by my parents and joined soon after by Kyle (beaming and camera slung on his shoulder) pushing Sophie into the room after her bath in the nursery. There she was, nestled in her little bassinette, oblivious to the excitement her arrival brought.

And the intense longing I felt for so very long.

My husband soon passed out in the recliner but I couldn’t sleep. A day of labor pain, no sleep and giving birth and I couldn’t sleep. It was hard to maneuver (I will spare you the details) but I tried with all my might to look at her as she slept. Fortunately, the nurse popped in and handed her to me.

The next morning I was alone with Sophie while Kyle went home to shower and I was waiting on visitors to start arriving. It was then that I truly realized, “Wow, she’s really here.” If you’ve gone through infertility and were able to eventually give birth, you simply can’t explain it. I stared at her for the longest time and then spotted my camera on the nightstand. Still moving pretty slowly, I had an itch to photograph like never before. Doing my best, I had a mini shoot with her on the bed and even managed a self-portrait. I cherish this photo.

I cherish her. And all it took to finally become a mother – the good and the bad – for it makes me appreciate motherhood that much more.