Author Archive

Bill Goldberg, Eat Your Heart Out…in October

17 Aug 2010 by Mom With A Pen

There’s something to be said about owning a house. For many years, due to my husband’s job, we lived in furnished apartments on college campuses. Some were nice and some were…er..not so nice. Drop-ceilings, walk-in showers (reminiscent of an 80′s gym locker room) and lack of closet and cabinets were like an HGTV reality show challenge. Every time we moved (which was about every two years), I thought Vern Yip was going to appear, cock his head to the side and say, “So, how are you going to make this space yours?”

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Category: Cleaning & Cleanliness, Decorating & Fix-Ups, House & Home, SAHM, Self-Actualization  Tags: Is there a plan for this?, Turning domestic goddess, Who am I tryin' to impress  4 Comments

I Could Have Been a Michael Jackson (The Mouse) Wannabe

15 Aug 2010 by Mom With A Pen

I am in need of Super-Duper-Massive-Strength Tylenol. I just opened the packet from Madison’s Open House and apparently I will need homeschooling this year. Our elementary school’s policy is that parents may visit at any time. I wonder if the 1st Grade teacher will be willing to give me a kid-sized desk and a paper name plate? Magnetic Poles…Sacagawea? Here I come!

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Category: Age-Related:, Education & Learning, Kids (5 & Older), Parenting, SAHM  Tags: It's all fun and games, Lessons Learned, This is how I roll  Leave a Comment

The Unfunny Blog Post

11 Aug 2010 by Mom With A Pen

There is no funny in this blog post. I apologize, in advance, also for the lack of helium (or other miscellaneous gases to get you through this read). There will be no squeaky-cheeky laughter or ha-ha..s. Nope, and it’s not even a dreaded Monday. Half empty or half full? I’m still undecided…but care for a Prozac?

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Category: Just Journaling, Parenting, SAHM  Tags: Is there a plan for this?, Losing my mind, Motherhood is hard work  3 Comments

Stupid is a Two-Letter Word

03 Aug 2010 by Mom With A Pen

“When I’m tired, stupid things fly out of my mouth. I apologize to those that crossed my path today. I will be home, alone, for the duration of the day to shield you from conversation horror. Just sayin’…”

That was my “status update” today.

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Category: Just Journaling, SAHM  Tags: I'm as stupid as I look  One Comment

Back to School

03 Aug 2010 by Mom With A Pen

For most SAHM, the start of school is like waiting for the Derby bell…sans the big fancy hats with ribbon and roses. There’s a lot of anticipation, a lot of money is thrown around…and everyone celebrates afterward with iced Mint Juleps… Cosmos if they are big-city folk… herbal tea if they frequent meetings with name badges and a sponsor in the crowd.

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Category: Age-Related:, Kids (5 & Older), Middle School, SAHM, Teens  Tags: Motherhood is hard work, This is how I roll  3 Comments

Facebook 101

25 Jul 2010 by Mom With A Pen

I am a 30-something Facebook junkie. Next year I’ll be a 40-year-old Facebook junkie. Better than a 40-year-old virgin. You’d think…but that might be an entire other blog post in itself. Just sayin’. The fact is, Mark Zuckerberg was on to something when he one-upped Myspace Tom -you know Myspace Tom, he’s everybody’s friend friend hoarder…

A couple of years ago, like many others, I flew from the “kooky coop” for a bit of friendly banter with “real” people. Don’t throw rotten tomatoes if I once called you my Myspace friend and now you are my IRL friend. Just ask yourself, “How long did that take? Was it really worth it?” Oh, and then don’t delete me.

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Category: Humor, Life's Lessons  Tags: Eww...Chicken!, Lessons Learned, Newbie in the house!, Technology makes me smile, What to do???, Who am I tryin' to impress  4 Comments

Motivated Mondays – Being an Over-Achiever HAS to be Over-Rated

19 Jul 2010 by Mom With A Pen

I am a good Mom. No, I am a great Mom…or so I keep telling myself that. I’m not really into “pats on the back” so the words are usually converted into little bites of Godiva, which means that there are a lot of little empty gold bags laying around. They make for elegant decor…or doggie-doo bags. Just don’t mistake the new from the old. Yes, it’s Monday. Just sayin’.

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Category: Humor, Just Journaling, Life's Lessons, Parenting, SAHM, Self-Actualization, The 9 Months  Tags: This is how I roll  4 Comments

Funny…Makes Funny

17 Jul 2010 by Mom With A Pen

Last week a friend told me I wasn’t very funny when I was pregnant. Personally I challenge anyone to strap on a 30 pound watermelon, try to shave their right leg…oh, and then crack a smile. Look, it’s not about being funny. Looking funny, yes. Being funny, no.

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Category: * Featured Posts *, Humor, Just Journaling, Pregnancy, The 9 Months  Tags: OMG I'm having a baby, These things make me happy, This is how I roll  One Comment

No Fly Zone

15 Jul 2010 by Mom With A Pen

Summer calls for salad and “getting healthy”. After all, it’s not pretty after you chow down on pasta and pass out from a carb coma…

Just sayin’.

The only negative to salad and a new health kick is that apparently our neighborhood flies are on the band wagon too. Every time I open the back door to fire up our Weber, one of them takes it as an open invitation to come in and fondle our leaf lettuce. Last week I even saw one land on the remote. I think he was trying to press “rewind” for the P90X toll-free number. Don’t feel sorry for him. He wouldn’t have made it past week 3. Yup, my “Mr. Miyagi” karate chop, not only ended any chance of him bulking up, but pretty much did him in.

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Category: Fitness & Goals, Humor, Pets & Animals, SAHM  Tags: It's all fun and games, Losing my mind, This is how I roll, Who am I tryin' to impress  2 Comments

When it Comes to Competition, Keep it Clean!

08 Jul 2010 by Mom With A Pen

Janet Jackson had a song about it, politicians live for it and my 5-year-old thinks it’s the “bees knees”. Unfortunately, these days, it’s in a rat-race with Chuck-E-”Sneeze”. Oh, lucky me.

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Category: Age-Related:, Cleaning & Cleanliness, House & Home, KIds (2, 3 & 4), Kids (5 & Older), Parenting, SAHM  Leave a Comment
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