We’re homeschoolers.   We don’t really have a last day of school or a back to school.  Learning is a round the clock, 7 day/week experience for us.  Except, of course, those days when being a couch potato is infinitely more productive than trying to get in a lesson.  There’s no back to school shopping, or first day of school jitters, or new teachers.   But today, I have the “back to school” blues.

It’s the annual, beginning of the traditional school year litany of questions, suggestions and (partly) veiled complaints:
I wonder what it’s like to ride on a school bus?
School seems like lots of fun.
There are lots of kids to play with at a school.
Not to be rude Mom, but it would be nice to have a teacher who is not in my family.
I wonder what it’s like to have a fire drill.
Is the food in a cafeteria good?
There are only little kids at the playground now – the big kids are in school.

I get the same questions every September when the advertisers have their media blitz for “BACK TO SCHOOL” with sales and commercials and the like.  They make it seem such a thrilling, fun-filled and exciting place.  And yes, it can be – with good educators, robust curriculum, modern facility and engaged community.   They also make it seem like packing off your children for 5-8 hours each day is a GOOD thing.  Trust me, there are days that I think like that but surely not EVERY day.

So I have the back to school blues.  The time each and every year (thus far in our 8 year journey) where I ask myself:
-Should I send her to school?
-Are we doing the right thing?
-Do we include enough time with friends/peers for fun?
-Should we invest in outside classes?

I second guess each of our decisions to homeschool and get the blues thinking of what it would be like to ship my precious cargo off to school (and go back to work full-time in order to pay for it because it would HAVE to be a private school) and then think of the summer months when I’d have to ship her off to various camps and programs because I’d have to work.  So I start convincing myself that it wouldn’t be so bad. I mean *I* survived it, my husband survived it, millions of children survive it every year.

But the blues end each year with a typical progression.

First
-I read the posts on parenting forums about how dissatisfaction with the school system.
-I read about school lock downs.
-I read about schools that frown on talking at lunch time, assign seats at lunch time, eliminate recess in favor of test-prep classes.
-I learn about scheduled bathroom times for kindergarten age children (who lose recess priviliges if they go outside of the scheduled time!)
-I learn about the cuts in curriculum offerings (read art, music, physical education) due to budget constraints.
-I find out that some communities have ZERO busing

Then
-I talk to parents with children in the public school system and see the work their children are doing.
-I look at the public school websites to see assignments and approach.

Lastly
-Our homeschool groups start meeting regularly so we see plenty of friends
-Field trips are scheduled frequently so we’re not home alone all day every day

And THEN I’m okay – the blues disappear. I am recommitted to our homeschooling journey.  I know that I AM doing the right thing; that I am educating my child at HER pace and not employing the limits of some age based curriculum.   Sure, I may have to add new course material and outside classes to maintain interest but that’s no different than if I were a “real teacher” in a school or if my child attended a traditional school program.

These back to school blues will pass as they do each year.  While I’m waiting for the litany of DD’s questions/suggestions/complaints to end, I keep a mental encyclopedia of her ongoing questions/suggestions/complaints in mind:

-She thinks it would be cool to go to DisneyWorld (sure it would, but not everyone gets to go there).
-She wants to try to drive the car – now (yeah right, even when she’s 16 that might not happen).
-She wants a horse that she promises to feed and care for diligently (she’s never even owned a fish).
-She thinks her bed doesn’t need to be made every day since she’s just going to get in it at night (I tried that one with my mother too).
-She thinks it’ll be okay to leave her home alone while I go to the (boring) grocery store (not for a few more years kiddo).
-She questions the wisdom of including vegetables at every meal (she’s lucky I haven’t introduced brussel sprouts).
-She wants a pink bedroom, a Red Sox bedroom, a fairies bedroom, a solar system bedroom (I think the theme changes weekly).

And there it is – the reminder that while I should listen to my child’s complaints/suggestions/desires, I am responsible for her care, feeding and development.  I make the parenting decisions based on my knowledge, my experience and what I think is best for her overall. If I’m wrong, well let’s hope she gets a good paying job to pay for all the therapy she’ll need!