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Funny…Makes Funny

Last week a friend told me I wasn’t very funny when I was pregnant. Personally I challenge anyone to strap on a 30 pound watermelon, try to shave their right leg…oh, and then crack a smile. Look, it’s not about being funny. Looking funny, yes. Being funny, no.

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Dear Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,

After the baby, I know there are parts that will never be the same, but…Sure, we all can’t have a body like Kim Kardashian, but are you mocking me? I have a caboose the size of the state I live in – Look, Thomas is the ONLY one in awe! I know I’m easily fascinated by those sponges that expand when you add water to them but when did my butt become a specimen? Did Mickey D’s call in a favor? Mother N, I’m also wondering about my symmetry. Am I forever destined to wear a loose-fitting poncho only to be befriended by Betty Suarez”? It’s summer you know, and Betty’s flight was canceled back in March.

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Milk, sweat and tears

Now that I am a mother of three, you would think there isn’t much I have not experienced in terms of my body.  I will admit I have been relatively lucky on that front.  Wait, let me knock on wood first.  I never had hemorrhoids.  I figure that is a good thing.  I only have three stretch marks on my stomach, also a good thing.  The stretch mark thing isn’t really anything to jump for joy about, since my stomach looks like canned biscuit dough when you first peel back that corner and it busts out of the tube.  Bikinis are not in my future.  Nursing two kids left me a lifetime member of the bullet club, so I hate to see what the third round is going to do.

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Current Mood:Drowning emoticon Drowning

Handy Manny, what’s your number?

I wish Handy Manny lived next door to me. He’s so nice, and helpful. All of his tools are nice, and helpful. In fact, his tools not only know what to do without Manny but they talk so nicely to one another.

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Pajamas are a Mom’s best friend

Every job has a uniform – Executives have Armani and $350 leather briefcases, surgeons have scrubs and non-static footies… and Moms have pajamas. That’s right, pajamas. People make fun of us and say we “let ourselves go” but I think it’s simple jealousy, and not slander…

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Bedtime is a circus

I swear, Barnum and Bailey got nuthin’ on bedtime at my house.

Tater, my oldest, wants to go to bed.  He really does.  However, he feels the need to fight it at least a little bit.

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Current Mood:Embarrased emoticon Embarrased

KO’d by a tap to the forehead

There are hurdles every parent must face when making decisions—whether on their own or with another parent involved–it’s never easy. But sometimes I think it is easier as a single parent because there’s no resistance—my word is the final decision. I can argue with myself, but the beauty is I always win the argument (LOL).

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Our Secular Homeschool

One of the many labels we attach to our homeschooling style is “secular”.  For us that means that we avoid curriculum based on religion or that references religious tenets in the teaching.   It does not, however, mean we ignore religion.  We teach about religion – WORLD religions.

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“I’m To Have Another Baby…Now?” *Sigh*

Have you ever been so weighed down with something that it consumes your every waking, sleeping, moment? And, then when you try to shove it into the “trash bin” in the back of your brain not wanting to deal with it, that it won’t stay, but keeps coming back,(like that annoying energizer bunny), until you finally lose the battle and say, “Fine, you win! I’ll deal with you”? Well, that’s me right now! I have a decision to make, an important one, and it has turned into such a dilemma, because there are so many factors to think about…I call it the “having-another-baby-dilemma”!

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Current Mood:Patriotic emoticon Patriotic & Drowning emoticon Drowning

I am a 38-year-old Girl Scout

Times are tough. Everyone is looking down to see if they see a shiny copper-colored coin, and it doesn’t even matter if the guy is face-up these days. I’m grateful that the check in the mail really was in the mail, and that no one’s strap broke and let “the girls” loose at the Golden Globes last night. But, I am MOST grateful that I am a 38-year-old Girl Scout. Let me rephrase that. I was grateful…

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Current Mood:Do me in already! emoticon Do me in already! & Green emoticon Green

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