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There’s something to be said for a good appetite…on someone else. Let’s face it, when it comes to a woman, it gets personal. And, no matter how ravenous a woman is, if you tell her she eats like a horse, you’re going to get your teeth kicked in.

Read more on I Think I Ate…er…a Horse…

Last week a friend told me I wasn’t very funny when I was pregnant. Personally I challenge anyone to strap on a 30 pound watermelon, try to shave their right leg…oh, and then crack a smile. Look, it’s not about being funny. Looking funny, yes. Being funny, no.

Read more on Funny…Makes Funny…

Dear Mother Nature,

After the baby, I know there are parts that will never be the same, but…Sure, we all can’t have a body like Kim Kardashian, but are you mocking me? I have a caboose the size of the state I live in – Look, Thomas is the ONLY one in awe! I know I’m easily fascinated by those sponges that expand when you add water to them but when did my butt become a specimen? Did Mickey D’s call in a favor? Mother N, I’m also wondering about my symmetry. Am I forever destined to wear a loose-fitting poncho only to be befriended by Betty Suarez”? It’s summer you know, and Betty’s flight was canceled back in March.

Read more on Dear Mother Nature…

Now that I am a mother of three, you would think there isn’t much I have not experienced in terms of my body.  I will admit I have been relatively lucky on that front.  Wait, let me knock on wood first.  I never had hemorrhoids.  I figure that is a good thing.  I only have three stretch marks on my stomach, also a good thing.  The stretch mark thing isn’t really anything to jump for joy about, since my stomach looks like canned biscuit dough when you first peel back that corner and it busts out of the tube.  Bikinis are not in my future.  Nursing two kids left me a lifetime member of the bullet club, so I hate to see what the third round is going to do.

Read more on Milk, sweat and tears…

I wish Handy Manny lived next door to me. He’s so nice, and helpful. All of his tools are nice, and helpful. In fact, his tools not only know what to do without Manny but they talk so nicely to one another.

Read more on Handy Manny, what’s your number?…