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I Think I Ate…er…a Horse

Mom With A Pen — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 03:54:00 +0000

There’s something to be said for a good appetite…on someone else. Let’s face it, when it comes to a woman, it gets personal. And, no matter how ravenous a woman is, if you tell her she eats like a horse, you’re going to get your teeth kicked in.

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Funny…Makes Funny

Mom With A Pen — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 07:14:11 +0000

Last week a friend told me I wasn’t very funny when I was pregnant. Personally I challenge anyone to strap on a 30 pound watermelon, try to shave their right leg…oh, and then crack a smile. Look, it’s not about being funny. Looking funny, yes. Being funny, no.

Dear Mother Nature

Mom With A Pen — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 05:16:08 +0000

Dear Mother Nature,

After the baby, I know there are parts that will never be the same, but…Sure, we all can’t have a body like Kim Kardashian, but are you mocking me? I have a caboose the size of the state I live in – Look, Thomas is the ONLY one in awe! I know I’m easily fascinated by those sponges that expand when you add water to them but when did my butt become a specimen? Did Mickey D’s call in a favor? Mother N, I’m also wondering about my symmetry. Am I forever destined to wear a loose-fitting poncho only to be befriended by Betty Suarez”? It’s summer you know, and Betty’s flight was canceled back in March.

Milk, sweat and tears

Maniacal Mommy — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 19:54:09 +0000

Now that I am a mother of three, you would think there isn’t much I have not experienced in terms of my body. I will admit I have been relatively lucky on that front. Wait, let me knock on wood first. I never had hemorrhoids. I figure that is a good thing. I only have three stretch marks on my stomach, also a good thing. The stretch mark thing isn’t really anything to jump for joy about, since my stomach looks like canned biscuit dough when you first peel back that corner and it busts out of the tube. Bikinis are not in my future. Nursing two kids left me a lifetime member of the bullet club, so I hate to see what the third round is going to do.

Handy Manny, what’s your number?

Single Mom — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 04:29:34 +0000

I wish Handy Manny lived next door to me. He’s so nice, and helpful. All of his tools are nice, and helpful. In fact, his tools not only know what to do without Manny but they talk so nicely to one another.

Pajamas are a Mom’s best friend

Mom With A Pen — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 21:31:00 +0000

Every job has a uniform - Executives have Armani and $350 leather briefcases, surgeons have scrubs and non-static footies... and Moms have pajamas. That's right, pajamas. People make fun of us and say we "let ourselves go" but I think it's simple jealousy, and not slander... Read more on Pajamas are a Mom's best friend

Bedtime is a circus

Maniacal Mommy — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 03:53:34 +0000

I swear, Barnum and Bailey got nuthin’ on bedtime at my house.

Tater, my oldest, wants to go to bed. He really does. However, he feels the need to fight it at least a little bit.

KO’d by a tap to the forehead

Single Mom — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 20:57:20 +0000

There are hurdles every parent must face when making decisions—whether on their own or with another parent involved–it’s never easy. But sometimes I think it is easier as a single parent because there’s no resistance—my word is the final decision. I can argue with myself, but the beauty is I always win the argument (LOL).

Our Secular Homeschool

Maven Mom — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 23:27:10 +0000

One of the many labels we attach to our homeschooling style is “secular”. For us that means that we avoid curriculum based on religion or that references religious tenets in the teaching. It does not, however, mean we ignore religion. We teach about religion – WORLD religions.

“I’m To Have Another Baby…Now?” Sigh

Mormon Mom — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 20:13:16 +0000

Have you ever been so weighed down with something that it consumes your every waking, sleeping, moment? And, then when you try to shove it into the “trash bin” in the back of your brain not wanting to deal with it, that it won’t stay, but keeps coming back,(like that annoying energizer bunny), until you finally lose the battle and say, “Fine, you win! I’ll deal with you”? Well, that’s me right now! I have a decision to make, an important one, and it has turned into such a dilemma, because there are so many factors to think about…I call it the “having-another-baby-dilemma”!