Mom With A Pen » Self-Actualization

Coming Clean

Surly Mom — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 17:41:37 +0000

No, those aren’t maggots. It’s just rice.

You would automatically assume that I was in the kitchen….but the area being scrutinized was my bathtub. Why was there rice on the side of the bathtub? Well, if you’ve been a mom as long as I have, you just don’t ask those questions anymore. Sure, when you had more than four brain cells, you would have turned this into a Sherlock Holmes-worthy whodunit but these days…..maybe you just don’t want to know or even care. You need to preserve those precious remaining brain cells for more important endeavors, such as killing them with a glass of wine at the end of the week while chatting with your best friend about nothing in particular.

Honey or Vinegar?

Maniacal Mommy — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 22:27:31 +0000

Call me crazy (most do I suspect) but I end up talking to the nicest people on the phone. Even when I was in college, I had a very long conversation with a woman trying to get me to switch phone companies. I was dodging an English assignment, and she was dodging cold calling more people. We ended up talking for nearly an hour about everything BUT the best long distance carrier.

Beautiful Things

Maniacal Mommy — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 01:16:35 +0000

My final round of trashy magazines hit my mailbox last week. The special price had ended, and let’s face it: without the Stephen King column in the one, I really had no reason to get it. We get to see a movie on the big screen maybe once a year, not counting free kids movies or “must see” kids movies.

Give Till It Hurts

B-Sting — Tue, 24 May 2011 03:37:43 +0000

I am a gift card-girl. I like gift cards. I give gift cards. I don’t care if you’re a newborn baby or celebrating your 100^th birthday. Gift cards for everyone! I don’t know what you already own. I don’t know if your tastes have changed. Honestly, if I start shopping for you… I really just end up shopping for myself. So here’s a $25 gift card. Go knock yourself out.

Fabulous

B-Sting — Wed, 18 May 2011 02:13:52 +0000

HRH was having a particularly rough day, last week. So El Jefe sat down with her on the couch, tucked her under his arm, kissed the top of her sweet head, and pulled up Amazon on his iPhone. Search: Girls’ shoes. He’s such a good daddy. And such a sucker!

Field Day

B-Sting — Thu, 12 May 2011 02:46:12 +0000

Today was the 1^st grade’s Field Day at HRH’s school. (For those of you new to B-Sting-speak, HRH is how I refer to my daughter. AKA – Her Royal Highness)

I remember Field Day from my youth. I hated it. Every damned year. It was supposed to be fun, exhilarating, and a great way to burn and run off energy. Instead, for me, it was a long day of showcasing how uncoordinated, lanky, clumsy, and all-around unathletic I was. I dreaded it and would try to think of excuses to get out of attending. That heavy feeling of dank dread hung over me as I prepared HRH for her Field Day. I kept my dark memories to myself as I slathered her with sunscreen and sent her on her way to school. Surely, she would have a better experience? After all, Daddy volunteered this year! She got to ride to school in his cool, tricked out car. She got to hug and kiss him whenever she wanted, all day. And he worked one of the Field Stations! How cool is that?!?

Just Not Extreme Enough

Maniacal Mommy — Tue, 10 May 2011 22:39:19 +0000

In real life, I am probably not much like I seem here. In fact, those who knew me when I was writing for a less open site, they can probably vouch for that. I am way more censored now. ANYONE could read this, so I am more reserved.

Picketting for Pretty

Mom With A Pen — Tue, 10 May 2011 01:48:09 +0000

Life has a funny way of saying, “Hey, what the heck. Are you an idiot?” And often, I’ll reply, “Yup;” sometimes when someone is looking… just to make them think twice about sitting next to me… because everyone needs their space. Yes, I’ve been walking in a daze. Let me add to that…for the past year and a half. Half exhausted from my non-sleeping one-year-old (and the whining and tantrums of the six-year-old); half carb-induced because I can’t seem to stop shoveling in chicken nachos. What is it with that stuff? Umm…yes, I’m eating a heap now.

So…My Kids Live in a Crack House

Mom With A Pen — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 16:44:29 +0000

Once upon a time, before I had kids, I was a good Mom. I was patient and kind…and I certainly didn’t yell. My blood pressure was stable and I looked good – no dark circles, no gray hair…and certainly no need for $50 anti-wrinkle cream. There is a saying that goes, “Fix the things you can and leave the rest to God.” So, instead of spending my money of lipo or a face lift I’m pulling resources to fix the house.

Killing Me Softly

B-Sting — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 03:48:22 +0000

I watched a news story, tonite, about soft addictions. According to the news reporter, B. Galvin, soft addictions are “… the little behaviors that probably aren’t going to land you in debt or danger, but they can still impact your life”. Nice little word play, there. Is it supposed to be like soft porn? Not quite as raw and dirty, but sexy, nonetheless?