I wish Handy Manny lived next door to me. He’s so nice, and helpful. All of his tools are nice, and helpful. In fact, his tools not only know what to do without Manny but they talk so nicely to one another.

My tools don’t know what to do, and the problem is often I don’t either. And my tools don’t talk, so I don’t know what they’re thinking, but they often look mean and unhelpful. So, I decided to keep them locked up in the garage for most days. It probably makes them angrier, and that’s why they never do what I want them to do when I pull them out.

My 6-year-old “crew chief” said, “Mom, now that the house is all neat, we need to start fixing things.” Like what I asked. And she replied, “You know, those knobby things on the doors and lights.” So, I pulled my tools out. The screwdriver didn’t like the door knobs I was trying to tighten. The florescent kitchen light, which I never liked until it stopped lighting and then I wish I had some light in the kitchen, doesn’t like its new florescent bulbs. And it turns out that florescent light is better than no light…

Now the leaky faucet, and the drain stopper that’s been smashed so far down that it won’t come up and the ceiling fan that talks back every time it’s asked to work all need to wait until “crew chief” can talk Handy Manny into leaving the Disney Channel world. Because by the time  I eventually worked it out with the door knobs, and gave up on the pouting florescent lights this handy woman was not feeling very Handy Manny…maybe he could send just the tools?!