There are hurdles every parent must face when making decisions—whether on their own or with another parent involved–it’s never easy. But sometimes I think it is easier as a single parent because there’s no resistance—my word is the final decision. I can argue with myself, but the beauty is I always win the argument (LOL).

Then, there are times like last night when the pressure of being mom and dad weigh so heavily on my heart that it hurts to breathe. Last night was a one-two punch. After a fun night waiting in the mother of all lines to get Danica Patrick’s autograph—it actually was a lot of fun and I’ll have to tell you that story—my friend and I stopped to get dinner. I had not checked my iphone all night and saw a message from the head personal trainer at the gym where I teach pilates. I’ve only gotten one message from him previously, and I think we’ve never had a conversation that lasted more than, “hi.” So, I opened it up to learn that I had not brought in enough clients and could no longer teach pilates there.

I never like bad news, but it wasn’t devastating because I really didn’t make a lot of money doing it. I simply enjoy teaching fitness, love working with my clients, and was sad that I didn’t see this coming. So, my first thought at that moment wasn’t about me, but how much I’d miss working with my clients.

Then I started to think. You’ve seen those cliché fight scenes—the fighter takes the hit, stumbles around aimlessly, gets a little tap on the forehead and he’s out for the count. Well, as a single mom who receives no support from her ex, losing a job on the day of learning her daughters’ school is not going to renew their scholarships was that forehead tap.

I got home, and started processing everything. Not that pilates could have ever made up the difference, but for a woman who lives juggling, dropping one ball all of a sudden felt as if I had lost them all. At that moment I wished I had someone to lean on and work through this with me, but there were only two sleeping little girls for whom I juggle.

So, I prayed.

I’m still in a little bit of a fog processing all the information, but I know the God of Psalm 68:5 (“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling”) has a plan, and it’s going to be alright. My type-A personality gets in the way of me bending to His will. But through the process of working through this newest hurdle—I know that it’ll all be good!

I’d just be a lot easier if I had better flexibility…I think I’ll do some pilates.