Yes, today is Monday. It’s another one of those, “Where is my cup of hot joe so I can burn my mouth, days.” And I’m not talking the gardener or the pool guy either. Of course, to have a “Joe” I’d have to have a feasible garden or a pool (other than the blow up kind). Again, sadly I do not. You, on the other hand, might. If so, your Monday may be going better than mine. I’m sending you a virtual clap, that is if you don’t already have the real one from “Joe”. I digress, as this is a family show…

This weekend my 5-year-old was sassier than Paris and Britney on a weekend in Cabo, and my husband was crabbier than Spongebob’s watering hole. I, being of sound mind (reverberating sarcasm), decided enough was enough; I am still recovering from my Girl’s Night Out on Saturday night. Of course, being that I am carrying a 22 pound “bowling ball,” I was not feeling very…well, er… girlish. Even the lady at the comedy club bar felt bad for me as I stepped up to order, huffing and puffing like I was going to blow the brick house down. She gave me a complimentary bottled water. Probably thought she’d have to call 9-1-1 if I had to count out $3.00. I tipped her and then smiled as I made my way to the bathroom…for the 18th time that night. I could hear her subconsciously humming the theme song from “Free Willy”.

Do you know how hard it is to sit like a lady when you are pregnant? Personally I think that is why maternity shirts are longer in the front. To the other preggos of the world: Pants are our friend. Embrace them in the name of dignity…because there’s nothing like sitting in a stadium-seated theater with fold-out chairs in a skirt. Just sayin’.

Today, I have to play “38-year-old” Girl Scout again. I have to teach the “Considering & Caring” petal for my daughter’s Daisy group. It’s Monday. I don’t feel very considerate and caring today. Although, when I waddle in at 4:00pm today, it might be a grand lesson when I drop to my knees and all 12 Kindergarten girls have to form a chain to hoist me off of the floor.

Whether you are a big-wig with a view, or a peon with no pants, pipe up! Tomorrow is Tuesday! Grab your cracked cup of joe, whether it’s Spanish, Columbian or French, and sing it with me…