It’s eight days past the New Year. Ok, seven to be precise, but who’s counting? Did you make a New Year’s Resolution for 2010? I think I was going to but got sidetracked along the way. Apparently staying focused should be at the top of that list. The thing is, every year is like a new beginning. The Chinese have “the year of the rat” so I think this year, for me, should be “the year of sanity”. I don’t like rats. Of course, we’ll see. I almost lost my mind today…on the eighth…er, seventh day. Again, who’s counting?

Sanity is one of those arbitrary things. You can have it or you can not have it. Some days sanity is a good thing. When all hell breaks loose, blaming the pitfalls on being insane sometimes is even better. In fact, there are days when I just want them to strap me into the white jacket and take me away to spoon feed me orange jello. Those days, when my 5-year-old is climbing the walls and is throwing tantrums like a mad ape with his bananas at the zoo…yes, those are the days when having a medical rap sheet and being placed in a room with four walls and a place to nap doesn’t sound too bad to me at all. Just sayin’.

When you’re pregnant everything makes you insane. Sometimes I wake up at night to the sound of hubby snoring. I try to ignore the soft buzz, but when you are pregnant it sounds like deforestation of the rainforest. I try to shove him. You know, enough to jolt him out of his lumberjack slumber, but not wake him. Of course, when that doesn’t work I just kick him and pretend that I’m fast asleep. Look, it works!

The other thing that drives me insane is clutter. The problem is, forget “Coupon Queen”, I am, without a doubt, well-known for hanging onto things that we just don’t need. Of course, after 15 years we finally bought our first home. Now I don’t have an excuse. If it doesn’t go somewhere, it’s getting sold at our neighborhood garage sale and that is final! Regardless of my deranged love/hate relationship with chaos, I absolutely can’t tolerate clutter on the counters and in my office. I think that’s because I know myself. If there are papers on the counters, I’m likely to throw them into the meatloaf in place of the breadcrumbs. Oh yum!

Sanity is all relative. Meaning, I think you get it from your family. I used to think it was “environment” but the town I live in is made up of normal folk. You know, they smile and nod their heads no matter how much you rant and rave. Then they’ll give you a coupon to “come back again”. My family, not so much. My 5-year-old folds her arms in front of her chest and rolls her eyes when she sits down at the dinner table now, and my lumberjack husband… Well, good grief! No wonder I constantly crave jello.

So, maybe 2010 will be the year of sanity. Who knows. Maybe I’ll get lucky and everything will fall into place. Maybe I’ll be the Publisher’s Clearinghouse big winner and Merry Maids will draw my name out of a hat for a free year of service. Yeah…maybe…