“When I’m tired, stupid things fly out of my mouth. I apologize to those that crossed my path today. I will be home, alone, for the duration of the day to shield you from conversation horror. Just sayin’…”

That was my “status update” today.

And yes, since all three of my readers are also my friends on Facebook, and I still posted this here, my stupidity badge glows brighter as the evening wears on. I wear it with pride though. Yes, I’m such a rockstar… sans the star… and don’t even think “of Gibraltar”. Lack of sleep has drained me and has left me dangling dangerously close to the point of no return.

Yup. That’s me.

(Minus the summer tan.)

Seriously, I want one of those shirts.

Despite the fact that today I barely knew that it was Tuesday, Madison, Julia and I DID make it through “Meet & Greet” at Madison’s school….barely. People passed us in the hallways…everyone smiled and waved excitedly…and EVERYONE looked familiar…but I don’t think I knew my own name, much less theirs. Wait…. I did remember someone’s name that I met today. Her name was Viji. Her husband smiled and said, “It  rhymes with Fiji”. God bless him.

To that I almost replied, “I love Indian food.”

Don’t ask.

You have to understand… My 4-month-old “projectile pooped” and my 6-year-old announced she wanted to join the Chess Club (pronounced CHEST Club) before dawn broke. Ok, after dawn broke…but that’s not my point… Er…I had a point…but apparently that “point” knew I wasn’t the “brightest bulb on the tree” today… and it was giving me the finger. …Point…finger… Yes, my tin can is empty for a reason, but…Thank You…I’ll be here all day tomorrow. Hopefully it’s not “Groundhog’s Day” because Bill Murray isn’t invited. Now, Patrick Dempsey on the other hand…

The irony is that I’ve banned the use of the word “stupid” in our household. Madison was throwing around the word more often than the word “Bingo” in an old folks home. Look, when you use the phrase “Stupid is as Stupid Does,” you know there’s brain leakage…somewhere. Get out the Brawny; forget the slow drip. I just exploded. I’m like a Weeble-Wobble gone rogue. Oooo…don’t try to stop me from leaving the premises!

Tomorrow is another day…to prove to the world that I’m not skipping down the yellow brick road…arm in arm with a lion and a little girl and her dog, Toto. Oh yes, all hail Humpday! Just sayin’.