I always laugh when I think about baby-proofing. Mostly because of that saying “I child-proofed the house, but they keep getting back in!” but also because it is impossible.
Making your home a sanctuary in which no child will ever get hurt/ingest a chemical/swallow a Lego is not going to happen. New mothers, take notes. It will save your sanity!
Current Mood:
Perplexed…???
My friends had invited us to go camping with them. They had their grandkids for the weekend of this really excellent tractor show (a phrase I never thought I would utter, I assure you) and were hoping we would tag along so they would have some built in playmates.
Read more on On the Road Again…
Current Mood:
Do me in already!
There is no funny in this blog post. I apologize, in advance, also for the lack of helium (or other miscellaneous gases to get you through this read). There will be no squeaky-cheeky laughter or ha-ha..s. Nope, and it’s not even a dreaded Monday. Half empty or half full? I’m still undecided…but care for a Prozac?
Read more on The Unfunny Blog Post…
We had a rough morning today. The baby, JD, was in to everything. This does not make it easy to cook breakfast, and I was doing it up right. Ok, no pancakes, but if there is fruit, meat, toast and eggs, there better not be any complaining.
Current Mood:
Drowning & 
Juggling the world
As mothers, we quickly learn that things are not going to go as we planned. Like those family dinners the experts keep touting that prevent delinquency and improve grades, the reality is drastically askew (someone is eating their spaghetti like a dog). Or that extremely misleading commercial showing the adoring mom and beaming children making rice cereal treats together. Seriously? In my world, the cereal ends up on the floor and I spend 20 minutes removing cement like marshmallow/cereal goo out of the pan. Meanwhile the kids are fighting over who gets the spatula to gnaw on and one is bitching that I didn’t put chocolate chips into them. The baby is hanging on my leg and crying and looks like we tried to batter him in crispies.
Read more on A Flurry of Madness…
Current Mood:
Domestic & Drowning
Summer calls for salad and “getting healthy”. After all, it’s not pretty after you chow down on pasta and pass out from a carb coma…
Just sayin’.
The only negative to salad and a new health kick is that apparently our neighborhood flies are on the band wagon too. Every time I open the back door to fire up our Weber, one of them takes it as an open invitation to come in and fondle our leaf lettuce. Last week I even saw one land on the remote. I think he was trying to press “rewind” for the P90X toll-free number. Don’t feel sorry for him. He wouldn’t have made it past week 3. Yup, my “Mr. Miyagi” karate chop, not only ended any chance of him bulking up, but pretty much did him in.
Dear Mother Nature,
After the baby, I know there are parts that will never be the same, but…Sure, we all can’t have a body like Kim Kardashian, but are you mocking me? I have a caboose the size of the state I live in – Look, Thomas is the ONLY one in awe! I know I’m easily fascinated by those sponges that expand when you add water to them but when did my butt become a specimen? Did Mickey D’s call in a favor? Mother N, I’m also wondering about my symmetry. Am I forever destined to wear a loose-fitting poncho only to be befriended by Betty Suarez”? It’s summer you know, and Betty’s flight was canceled back in March.
Read more on Dear Mother Nature…
I have been in a new level of parenting lately. I hate to admit that I trudge along in the daily grind so much that I don’t see the forest for the trees.
Read more on Because they are little boys…
Current Mood:
Embarrased & 
Seriously…duh!
I was not smart enough to study forensic science. My attempt to further my education beyond my degree in criminal justice pretty well ended when I had to take chemistry. I aced microbiology, but chemistry left me feeling like Forrest Gump at NASA.
Current Mood:
Oh no you didn’t!
A few years ago I purchased a set of hair clippers. I was fed up with the cost of the kids’ haircuts. Their hair grows insanely fast. Ditto for my husband. He was always so busy that he would go weeks past what he should in terms of hair. He has a head of thick, glorious hair that quickly turns into “can you even get a hat over all that?”
Read more on I’m gonna shear you like a sheep!…
Current Mood:
Riled up!