Why do men have to be such…MEN! Why can’t men be like…well, US every once in a while? It would make life much easier.

When a woman is hungry, a female friend will say, “Let’s go get something to eat” or “What do you feel like? I could go for some chocolate right now.” By the time you nod yes, her coat is on and she’s grabbed her purse. Next thing you know, you’re sharing chips and salsa and waiting for you’re margaritas at the local tex-mex joint; it doesn’t matter if it’s 10:30am or 10:30pm! A man may look at you but then will return to watching tv or checking his blackberry. Sometimes, if you’re lucky and he’s starving, he may ask you what you want to do for lunch. Often communicating, “What will we be having for lunch?” Meaning, you’re making it or deciding where to go to get it.

When a woman has nothing to wear, it doesn’t mean she has nothing to wear. It means there’s nothing in the closet that makes her feel good. Nothing that stands up to her standards. A man will often say, “You have a whole closet full of clothes. What do you mean you have nothing to wear?” Another woman? She’ll litterally loan you the clothes off of her back….or, well…go shopping with you. The latter often the best case scenario considering getting out is probably what you needed in the first place.

Look, I’m not saying men are horrible. Absolutely not! We just communicate differently. It’s like a foreign language that all women need a Master’s Degree in. And, when you’re pregnant, it’s all written in hieroglyphics AND you’re fumbling around like a pirate with two eye patches on…in the middle of 12-foot swells.

I mean…when a woman apologizes for being irrational, a female friend will say, “You know, that’s ok. I just figured you were upset about something else.” She’ll hug you and then you’ll end up chatting about something that eventually makes you spew milk out of your nose. A man will listen but will NEVER say, “That’s ok.” Oh no. You’ll end up in a 1/2 hour “tennis match” of feelings that will eventually unravel a decade of miscomunications. By the end, you’ll be so emotionally drained that you say, “I’m hungry” and end up making a pot of spaghetti for the masses.

Just sayin’.